


Pool interrupted

by maximumeffort



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Crossdressing, Deadpool Thought Boxes, Depression, F/M, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I REGRET NOTHING, Masturbation, Suicide Attempt, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-23 08:18:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6110593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maximumeffort/pseuds/maximumeffort
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deadpool gets institutionalized, again, and he meets someone there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Playing video games

**Author's Note:**

> Again I don't know what I'm writing or how this will end. Hopefully a little happier then the last fic, but it's gonna get dark before it gets better. Also rating may go up later in the story, don't know yet.This story is probably going to be another WTF so, sorry in advance :)

[Whitey]

{Yellow}

 

Once again he finds himself in a fight that isn't his. And once again he is loving it. The clones just keep coming, and he is just shooting and slicing and exploding everywhere. This time he isn't even getting paid, but he's fighting alongside the Avengers and he's having the time of his life. They keep yelling at him to go away before he destroys something or un-alive someone who shouldn't be un-alived, but he can't even hear them anymore, and also fuck them and their "We're too good to accept your assistance Deadpool. Although we desperately need it and are in awe of the perfect execution of said assistance." Nah, he'll show 'em by the end of the day they will all be in line to kiss his ass.

As if the awesomely awesome fight couldn't get more awesome, he gets into video game mode. Gunshot to the head 50 points! close range melee 3 baddies combo 270 points! "Hope you like pineapples!" Feed the big guy grenade, head explodes "I think that's one pina colada too many!" 100 points plus 50 on the witty comment plus 30 points bonus for the execution. He's having the time of his life, there's arcade game music playing, and every time he gets the kill, there's a coin above the enemy's head and more points written in golden letters and he is still on his first life.

Just as he is getting to the 2000 points extra life super cool super bonus he slips. There's a civilian on the street, and while shooting the baddies with his AK 47 for a greater combo, he gets hit on the back, looses his grip for a moment and blows the guys' head off, perfect execution too, as only the top of his head is blown off, with the jaw staying intact. Then there are red letters flashing above his head NEGATIVE 3000 POINTS GAME OVER.

Okay so collateral happens, but why today, why him? "Fuuuck my life!" Deadpool groans, drops the rifle and drops to his knees in defeat hands by his sides. Soon he sees a bright flash, and before he even registers the blow he's down and out.

When he wakes up he finds himself strapped to the bed, in a white room. He doesn't even have the time to take in his surroundings or what the hell happened before Ironguy is in his face yelling at him flailing his hands frantically. His ears are still ringing so he hears only parts of it.

"Fuckin menace... Civilian casualties... The fuck... Institutionalized..." Deadpool flinches to the last word, they are not gonna put him in the nuthouse again are they. Finally Stark seems to be done with his rant, and he walks away leaving Deadpool alone in the room.

"I was an adventurer but then I took the headshot to the knee" he chuckles darkly to himself, and then he hears another voice "That doesn't even make sense." The ringing in his head had subsided, and he looks for the source of the voice. It's Spiderman, and suddenly he feels ten times worse then before. Captain America and Spiderman were, like, his favorite superheroes, the reasons why he got the stupid idea of becoming a hero himself. And although he worshipped them both, he had the biggest man crush on Spiderman, and now both of his heroes knew what a stupid fuck up he was.

[Not like they didn't know that before.] Whitey helpfully pointed out, and Deadpool just whined in frustration.

"I didn't mean to do it! You gotta believe me Spidey!" Deadpool said, and Spiderman just shrugged his shoulders "You really need help Deadpool." he said in a tender voice.

Soon they had him on a plane and pumped full of sedatives which didn't actually do squat. He just felt defeated and too tired to fight so he let them take him to wherever they were gonna take him.


	2. FML

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing the OFC. Suicide attempt warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She's lame I know, I just wanna write this so whatever. Story's not so much about her, you'll see.

She hated herself. She really did. And she hated her life too. She wasn't always like this, not on the outside anyway. She was always loud, the light of any party. Everyone wanted to be around her, because she was funny and daring, and always had the best ideas of how to make things interesting. And all the while she didn't even realize she had been faking it, hell she'd been faking it for so long she started believing her own act. And that's why it had all came crushing down on her so hard.

Her childhood was bad, but fuck that she wasn't gonna live in the past. She didn't even think about that shit anymore, not consciously at least. But it did leave her with a real good defense mechanism. A mantra she sang to herself ever since she was five and well into her late twenties " Always smile, be polite, seem honest, look fun, be funny, feel nothing" during the years she became master of her own game.

Now, she was pretty, not beautiful, but pretty, a little overweight, but she wore it good, and long had given up on trying to change that, well, she did after almost destroying her health with a year of no eat- if you eat vomit - work out like crazy regiment which did nothing for her looks but almost completely fucked up her digestive system. But it was her face and her voice that were her real weapons. She had a symmetric oval shaped face with big baby blue eyes a perfect nose and plump pouty lips, perfect smile and short brown hair, everyone always thought she was at least five to eight years younger than she was. And the thing is that she had a very expressive face too, and once she had learned to control the expressions perfectly she could have anyone believe anything she said. Her voice was also helping, a pleasant low pitched but unmistakably feminine, paired with her face made people like her instantly and she could make anyone do anything she wanted, all the while making them believe they wanted to do it all the while. She though of it as almost a superpower, but the truth was it was a well learned behavior that took years to make perfect. And it was perfect, now she was a master of manipulation, but it wasn't good because although on the outside she looked like a poster girl of mental stability, inside she was crumbling down.

The thing is that there was nothing that actually triggered he breakdown, not in the sense of one big traumatic event to make her walls tumble down, it's just that when you build for so long to keep the bad things you don't even remember anymore away, you tend to run out of material. Then the work gets sloppy and the barrier thinner and it just takes one brick to slip, for it all to start crashing down.

It all begun in the stupidest way possible. One day she was coming back from work and she slipped and fell. One hospital visit later, she was informed that her leg was broken, and she had to stay still for at least two weeks. So she took a sick leave, she was the most dedicated employee so her boss made no problem about it.

The first two days she was okay, some friends visited, and she really enjoyed the mini vacation she was getting. Then it all went downhill, she couldn't leave the house, obviously, and soon she was just sitting all day eating junk food and watching stupid reality TV she actually hated. At the end of the first week she had gotten to a state where she haven't heard from anyone in five days, haven't showered or slept in three, and actually left the couch only to go to the toilet and get her take out and groceries she had ordered online.

The thing is that when you have a lot of friends they all tend to presume the other one called and checked up on you, so she hadn't even talked to anyone for days. She didn't call anyone ether, first she told herself she didn't need help and didn't want to annoy anyone, then she just didn't have the need to see or hear anyone, and finally she felt like she didn't even want to see no one anymore.

The second week passed and she was in a really bad state. She had packed on more weight, and she was starting to actually stink.

And then it came.

First it was all the bad romantic choices she had made in her life, and she cringed remembering each and every one of her exes. Their lousy advances, their small insignificant gestures which they sold for romantic, their fake "I love yous", their pansy feelings. And all the bad sweaty fornicating they called love making, all of them forming a huge sweaty grunting mass, chasing their own pleasure, looking at her with their stupid all lovey-dovey eyes when it all was done.

Next, all the chances she had missed. She wasn't even going into detail on that. Her whole life was one huge missed chance, that's why she was now an office assistant and not a doctor as she wanted to be, missing out on getting a scholarship because she had to look after her drunk father dying of cirrhosis.

Then she got to her bad habits, when she wasn't on her job she smoked, drank, swore like a sailor and after figuring she wasn't the dating type, since she didn't actually feel anything for the guys she would date and the sex getting really boring real fast she was doing one night stand for a year now.

Finally she got to her childhood. In short, momma and poppa didn't really plan her. So they got married because of mommy getting pregnant, and they hated each others guts, daddy started drinking, he would beat mommy and her. Mommy died when she was fifteen, daddy died when she was twenty. That's about as deep as she dared to go down the memory lane, because some of her walls were still holding up, and on 'em stood a sign "There be monsters." and she really didn't want to face those monsters again.

Her two weeks sick leave have passed, she didn't go to get her cast removed, she didn't go to work, or call to inform them that she wasn't coming. When the phone rang she pulled the cables out from the socket. She had turned off her mobile phone, and didn't answer when someone rang on the door three days in.

On the fourth day she had cut the cast off herself. Then she took a long bath and put on her favorite dress. It was a little tight on her. She looked at herself in the mirror and hated what she saw. And then it hit her, she has always hated herself, hell, her parents have hated her too, how could they not, she did destroy their lives. One of those monsters she still held behind the wall reared it's ugly head up. She was thirty, had a dead end job, no love and no family, she was ugly and hopeless.

On the morning of the fifth day she took all of the pills she could find in her apartment and chased them down with a bottle of tequila.


	3. Strawberry jello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day at the nuthouse

[Whitey]

{Yellow}

When Wade arrives at the asylum, they strip him, take all of his weapons and they put him in a straitjacket and he doesn't even fight it. He finds it's cute they think it could restrain him, cause for him to dislocate his shoulder and make like Houdini is a walk in a park. He feels so defeated he doesn't even look up at the doctor when he arranges for him to be taken to his cell.

  
They put him in a room with white padded walls and leave him alone, and all he can do is sit and think.  
'How the hell did I get like this?' No response, the boxes are quiet, so he just stops thinking.

  
He's back in his house, the one he shared with Al, before letting her go, before getting the stupid idea of going to New York and becoming a hero, when everything was simple, killing is my business and businesses is good kinda simple. He's sitting in front of his TV, drinking his beer, and relaxing. Back then he didn't have no boxes to talk to him, that was simpler too. Then he's back in the white room, and someone is calling his name.

  
"Wade Winston Wilson, are you with me Wade?" It's a guy in jeans and a sweater, tall, lanky with glasses, kinda cute in a nerdy way "I'm dr. Jesse Collins, I'm assigned to you." Wade chuckles "You're gonna start hating your job real fast Bunny" the doctor looks at him confused and Wade laughs "Jessica as in Rabbit, you know for a doctor you're not very bright are you? You must have gotten a lot of beating in school huh Jessica?" The doctor actually smiles "Yes, in a matter of fact I have. But I'm not here to talk about my traumas. So wanna get out of that shirt?" "You're not wearing the white coat because you're trying to get me to feel comfortable, knowing my problem with doctors. And you're tryin to get all friendly with me. I really hate this new agey stuff you know. What's next we gonna hold hands and have a sing-along? What happened to good old electroshocks and lobotomy?" The doctors' smile didn't falter "Yeah that comes after the water treatment and an exorcism." Wade squints his eyes at him, and then laughs "Ok, you got me Jessica, who do I have to fuck to get this thing off?" Ten minutes later Wade's out of the jacket and in Jessicas' office, and then the doctor gives him his mask back and Wade is sold. "I like you Bunny, hell if you buy me a beer I might even put out on our first date." The doctor smiles again "Ok. So, hope you're nice and comfortable now, so we can get to business." "What, no foreplay?" Wade pouts, he actually doesn't hate this guy, and makes a mental note to try and not un-alive him when this all goes to hell.

  
The doctor asks Wade a bunch of boring questions, about his past, his family, his jobs, and after hearing about three versions of his childhood, he gives up "Ok, so I see you're not going to go down memory lane with me today Wade." Wade leans back in his chair and puts his hands behind his head  "Call me mr. Wilson" the doctor looks at him questionably  "It makes me all tingly downstairs, OMG doctor I think there's something wrong with my pee-pee it's turning to stone! Can you take a look I think I'm dying!" The man actually looks exhausted, he pushes his glasses up and pinches the bridge of his nose  "I would say that would be all for today Wade. If you wish you may go to the common room or I can have the nurses take you to your room. " You're gonna regret giving me that choice Bunny." Wade threatens, but the doctor shakes his head  " No I won't, you see Wade, the patients here are not criminally insane. Just regular innocent people with a lot of problems. The are mostly harmless and defenseless and you will not hurt them." Wade hates that the guy is right  "I wouldn't bet on it doc." He tries, but the doctor is adamant "I would, you don't hurt the defenseless. To be honest, that's why you are here and not in some god forsaken prison. I guess it's the common room then? Now run along it's strawberry jello day, it's really really good and I've heard that if you behave they even give you seconds." So Wade gets up and follows the doctor to the common room and eats his strawberry jello, and even gets his seconds. Then he is taken to a different room, with a bed and a window, barred up but still. And he lays down scratching his belly, hearing the door get locked.

  
[So we're just gonna pull our tail between our legs and roll over when the good doctor tells us to?] Whitey grumbles  
{Yeah what gives?} Yellow whines  
"Oh, there we are, I was worried for a second." Wade huffs.  
[{So?!}] both of the boxes ask.  
"Nah. Think of this as a little vacation. The bed is comfy, the food ain't that bad and we can always go catatonic and make the fuckers wipe our ass. And that jello is really good. Could lay still till next week at least."  
{I did like the jello.}  
"See? That's why I'm the brain of this operation."  
[Sure. Operation whipped.]


	4. 31 flavors of crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade meets the OFC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for some fat shaming

{Yellow}  
[Whitey]

  
Wade was in the asylum for three days already. He had his personal therapies with dr. Bunny in the morning, which were probably more damaging for the good doctors mental health than they were helpful for Wades, and then he would have the entire day to just roam around the place. The doors to his room would be unlocked for the entire day so he had somewhat of a freedom, and they would even be let out to the garden for a walk. "Stupid fucks, good thing I'm having a vacation, or I'd be gone the first time they let me out for a walk." Wade had learned that he was in an institution on some small island near the city, so when he decided to get out, it wouldn't be too hard he figured.

  
Most of the patients were scared to death of him, so no one except for the doctor and nurses spoke to him, it was a bit boring, but it did have an upside - complete and total respect, and his own personal suite, most of the other patients had to share a room, but not Wade. And he had his designated seat at the table in the common room, the one with the best view of the TV, and  nobody dared to even touch it, well, until today.

  
"You're in my chair fugly" Wade grumbled standing above the girl, looking down at her menacingly. "Look who's talkin." She answered not even bothering to look at him. He huffed and crossed his arms. He did have his mask on, but the hospital garment he was wearing was blue pants and a short sleeved shirt, so the scars and scabs on his arms were visible "Do you know who you're talkin to muffin top?" The girl squints her eyes, but doesn't look at him "Yup, heard the nurses and the other nutters talkin. You some kind of a killer right?" Wade is confused, did they pump her up with medicine so bad she doesn't even look scared "Mercenary.  Wade Wilson is the name, but you probly heard of me as Deadpool butterpants." She then looks up at him, all wide eyed and scared, looking like a little child and gasps "Oh please mr. Wilson don't hurt me I will do anything you want." and Wade suddenly feels bad for his attitude, but suddenly her face changes back to the blank expressions she wore before as she continues  "Guess you'll have to kill me then, cause I ain't movin." then her face shifts again, and she is smirking, looking up at him beneath her eyelashes, biting her lower lip, looking all innocent and fuckin sexy as fuck at the same time "Or maybe I can sit in your lap, Wade?" again going to blank seconds later, and Wade is impressed, so impressed he forgot the "Wouldn't want to have my legs broken." comment.

  
{I'm really liking this lady.} Yellow says [Me too, she's got talents.] Whitey adds "Me three." Wade whispers, and she snorts at him  "Talkin, to yourself huh? So you are a fruitcake like the rest of the lot, not just criminally insane huh?" Her smile is bitter but sincere and Wade practically cooes "I think I'm in love" She then laughs in honest, and it sounds so foreign in the god forsaken place, that several patients in the room look at her surprised, and her face looks so open and vulnerable, because although she is smiling her eyes are so sad, and the merc feels weird, like, what the hell is she doing here, kinda weird, and like he wants to kill whoever put that sadness in those eyes sort of weird, and he doesn't even know where all these thoughts are coming from, and he isn't liking it either.

  
He sits down beside her, looking at those eyes "Why are you here?" He hears himself asking before he even thinks, and her face goes blank once again, he immediately regrets it, not even sure why "What's it to you?" and he goes along with her game once again "Nothing just making small talk." She then proceeds to tell him to fuck off, and then he laughs, he is really, really starting to like this chick "You should be afraid of me, you know that little girl" he whispers in her ear, proceeding to lick at it, his mask getting in his way "I ain't little, you creepy fuck." She shudders backing away "I can see, gotta lay down on the cookies" Wade finishes smugly crossing his hands and leaning back in his chair "Fuck off!" she says again, and he chuckles, he's getting to her "Not much of the vocabulary either."

  
Then there's that look again, like someone sucked out all the sadness of the world and put it in her eyes, and Wade feels bad again, and he haven't felt that bad for someone in ages, and the girls got him twice in less than half an hour already. Then she gets up and starts to walk away, and then the merc panics, and he doesn't even know why. "Hey wait!" he's up and grabbing at her hand, and she pulls it away like his touch burns her, but there's no disgust on her face, just that sadness and... fear?

  
"C'mon sugar tits at least give me your name" he says, and she's still got that look "Sorry, will you please tell me your name." he corrects himself not even knowing why. She then smiles again 'Maybe the chick is crazy after all' he thinks to himself. "What? You want to stick it in crazy?" The girl asks as if reading his mind, and he's smiling too.

  
 "I like you." he says, and all he wants at that moment is to see that smile again.  
 "Sorry the feeling's not mutual." comes her answer, face going blank again.  
 "I can change that"  
"Highly doubt it."

  
With that she's walking away, and Wade is thinking his vacation just got hella interesting.

  
"Deidre." she says as she leaves.


	5. Date of mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a date in the most romantic place in the world

[Whitey]  
{Yellow}

  
Wade wakes up before the nurses come to take him for his therapy, and walks around his room. He can't wait to finish with the doctor so he can go to the common room and see if he can make that girls eyes smile. Since yesterday he had made it his personal mission to do so. When the nurse, a big bulky guy named Willy comes in Wade all but rushes them both out of his room and down the hall to the doctors office.

  
He gets in, flunks himself on the couch and starts talking.

  
"Ok Bunny, although I really enjoy our chitchats, I'm gonna ask you a favor to make it short and let me out to the garden early today. So good news I'm ready for some sharing and caring." The doctor looks at him surprised  "And to what do I owe this sudden willingness to cooperate Wade?" "Kay, I'll be frank with you doc. I have a date, so let's get along with the head shrinking please." Wade rushes  "A date? With whom. Don't tell me you're... wooing one of our patients." the doctor sounds worried, and Wade can't have that "Nah, I ain't wooing, 's just this girl, she looks so sad, and I want to make her not be sad. I promise doc, I won't do nothing bad." So the doctor asks him about her and Wade figures the fastest way to get what he wants is to play along, so he tells him all about her. Finally the doctor lets him out but warns him that if he does anything to destabilize her condition, he will be restricted from seeing her. When Wade finally leaves the office, the doctor is left to worry, he had finally found a way to get Wade to open up, but is it worth risking the girls already fragile mental state. For now he decides he will take the risk, and monitor their interaction closely, hoping it won't backfire tragically.

  
After getting out Wade rushes to the garden and starts pulling at the flowers he finds there. "Dude, you're not supposed to pick those." Nurse Willy yells "C'mon man! I have a date to impress, not like I can go out and buy her candy and flowers. So either help me or get away!" Wade all but whines, and at that the nurse chuckles and starts picking flowers  "If my old lady could see me right now she would say I'm as crazy as y'all poor mother fuckers." Wade looks at him and smiles, making a mental note to not un-alive him either when the shit hits the fan. After they picked a bunch of flowers, Willy takes him to have a shower ahead of schedule and after giving him a clean garment to put on even provides a bow tie to which Wade jumps and hugs the man "Ok mr. Wilson don't make me sedate you." he chuckles, Wade pats his shoulder  "You know that wouldn't even work, you're a real bro Willy." The huge man just chuckles "Go along  can't have you miss the big date now."

  
Wade walks into the common room, and there she is sitting in his place looking blank and sad as she did yesterday. He walks up to her and presents her the flowers  "Miss Deidre would you mind if I courted you." She gives him an incredulous look, and then it's there, a smile so bright it lights the whole room up, she starts laughing and her eyes don't look that sad for a moment, and it feels good. "Oh my god! You're a complete lunatic!" She says, and takes the flowers "Where did you get these?" Wade sits down beside her and tells her all about how he picked them with Willy and she giggles at that  "You made Big Willy pick flowers? I can't believe that. I'd give my right arm to see that." Wade feels good, like he haven't felt in a long while "Yeah, the man's a big softy on the inside." he says smiling  "I wanted to ask you if you would sit with me during lunch." he says and she nods her head, and his heart totally doesn't skip at that.

  
They sit and they chat, and Wade does everything he can to make her smile, and even succeeds at it a couple of times, and when they call to lunch he gets up offering her his hand all like a sir, and she snorts does a curtsey and loops her arm around his elbow. When they get to the dining room he pulls the chair out for her, earning him another laugh, and then he leaves to bring food. Soon he's back with a tray carrying two plates of green peas, mashed potatoes and meat, and two plastic glasses of blueberry juice  "Young lady may I present you le plat du jour, green stuff with meat'n'potatoes, and for our drinks jus de myrtille, vintage 2016... I hope."  "Why thank you kind sir, I shall only have one glass, I daren't get myself tipsy" she answers taking her plate. They eat with pinkies up, and talk in the poshest British accent they can muster. Wade notices dr. Bunny looking at them and winks at Deidre  "Oh my it seems that the good doctor is here, should we stop by and great him?" "By all means darling. At least that way I will give him a proper reason to think me insane." She answers, and with that they are up and on their way to the doctor. She again does the curtsey when they reach the man "Pleasure to see you here good doctor, have you enjoyed your meal?" She says, but Wade interrupts her  "Hush woman, you must never speak before your man." And then turns to the doctor  "Fine institution you run here lad. I must say. The meal was quite satisfactory too. I only regret the lacking of strawberry jello." The doctor just shakes his head at them "Yeah, yeah, great one guys, if you are finished with your meal, you should go out for your daily walk." Deidre looks at Wade  "Permission to speak husband." Wade nods "Granted woman, but make it short I am in dire need of an exercise." She thanks him and addresses the doctor  "Fine sir, have you revised my request form yesterday?" the doctor shakes his head  "We'll talk about it in our session Deidre, go along now, I'll see you tomorrow." To that her expression saddens, and whatever that was about Wade would really like to kick Bunnys ass for pissing all over his effort to make Deidre smile.  
They go out to the garden and start walking about aimlessly, their mood much gloomier than before, and Wade can't help himself  "So, Dee, what was that all about?" She looks at him for a moment chewing on her lower lip as if considering her answer "I like it" "You like what?" Wade is confused  "The nickname, Dee, 's better than my real name." She provides "Deidre is fine too." Wade shrugs, and she shakes her head no "'S not, it means sad." They both keep quiet for the rest of the walks, and when they are called in, Deidre says she's going to go and sleep  "Why did you get sad before?" Wade asking, and she just smiles that sad smile of hers "They won't let me out of here yet, say I'm a danger to myself still." it dawns on Wade then, he should have figured it out earlier, with those sad big eyes  "Suicide huh? Been there." he says and she looks at him  "A paid killer who failed to kill himself? And I thought I was a failure. What? You didn't offer yourself enough money?" He smiles a bitter smile to that, the girl is pure awesome  "Nah sweet cheeks, it's just I can't die." She looks confused  "What do you mean you can't die, everyone can die." "I'll tell you all about that on our super second date tomorrow." Wade answers and starts to walk away  "Nice way to keep a girl interested" she yells after him, and she can hear his chuckle.


	6. Getting down to business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They make a deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally another one, I guess nobody's really reading this, but hey, I have a story, I'm gonna tell it to the world :) if anyone reads this, comments are always appreciated

[Whitey]  
{Yellow}

 It’s tomorrow finally, and after the session with dr. Bunny, Wade gets to see Dee again. He didn’t sleep the entire night, he rarely gets obsessed with someone, but when he does he gets really obsessed like a bloodhound kinda obsessed. He knows it’s bad and not really healthy but hey, he is in a mental institution after all, may as well play the part.

 The session with the doctor goes good, Wade tells him anything he wants to know, so he can get out fast, and soon Willy’s there to take him to the common room. Wade pats the ginormous man on the back and smiles “Willy, I think I’m in love!” Willy laughs in that deep baritone of his “I’m guessin’ the date went good?” “Good?! Man it went perfect, I can picture us, little house in the ‘burbs, white picket fence, dog, two point five kids.” Wade sighs, and Willy just chuckles and shakes his head “Go along then Don Juan, I think your Dulcinea awaits you.” “I think you got the characters wrong…” Wade says, and gets a blank look from Willy, so he just pats him on the back again “Never mind Willy, se ya around.”

 Dee is sitting in his chair again staring at the TV, and doesn’t even look at him when he sits beside her, so he clears his throat “Hi Dee, no flowers today, sorry.” She looks at him and sighs “Why did you try to kill yourself? Is that why you are here?” She asks out of the blue, and Wade flinches, he wasn’t expecting such a straight forward question, although he did promise he would tell her. He looks at her, sad eyes back, with dark circles underneath, and he doesn’t even get mad, or insecure, he just wants to tell her all, and he doesn’t even know why.

 [It’s those eyes, and the voice the lady’s got some crazy super persuasive powers even if she doesn’t know it I’m tellin you]

{If we tell her all she’s gonna run away}

[Like we have any chance of keeping her in the first place. The big guy’s gonna spill eather way, I tell you it’s persuasion to the max]

 And Wade feels like the boxes have a point, about everything, so he takes a deep breath and starts talking. He tells her about his regenerative powers, about his scars, that he had a tough childhood from what he can remember, he skips the details about weapon X, and tells her just the highlights, he tells her about how he joined the army even before he was of age to do so, about the dishonorable discharge, taking up the mercenary business, about how he wants to be better, and how he fails every time, he tells her about the boxes, and how he kills himself every time he can’t take it anymore, and by the time he is finished he feels drained, and she just looks at him, sadness in her eyes almost tangible, and he doesn’t think he can take it anymore, he feels so bare, so he hangs his head low, not even looking at her waiting for her to call him a monster he is, so when she puts her hand on his shoulder he flinches and draws back, looking at her, almost spitefully, as if he is daring her to tell him all the things he is expecting her to say.

Then the weirdest thing happens, her lips curl upwards in a smile, and he’s just not sure what that’s all about, is she about to mock him, he feels like when he was a kid, expecting a beating but not knowing where the strike will land, and then she simply says “I’m bettin dr. Collins would be in fits if he found out I got the whole Origins story out of you in two days, and he’s been dancin’ around you tryin’ to get anything out for almost a week now.” and then she snorts, trying not to laugh, and Wade can’t believe it, she must see his incredulous look even through his mask, and she’s stifling her laugh “Sorry! Sorry! I’m a monster for laughing after you spilled your heart like this, it’s just, I can’t help myself, OMG Wade I’m so sorry.” she has her hand grasping his upper arm now, trying to control herself, but she’s doing a piss poor job at it, and then Wade laughs, and soon they are both in fits, holding their stomachs, and leaning into one another, she has her forhead against his chest, and they both shake with giggles, and he just puts his hand on her hair holding her as he leans into it and laughs “You are unbelievable.” he gasps in between giggles “Here I am baring my soul to you, and you do this!” he says, mock-hurtfully and she looks up at him, so close now their noses are almost touching, and she is so beautiful, her cheeks pink, eyes glinting, and she looks down and away, getting serious “I’m sorry, just, my defense mechanism, you throw all this at me at once, yes I did ask for it, and I, I always laugh at he most inappropriate moments.”

She’s starting to look sad again, and Wade won’t have it, so he quips “You must be a real hit at the funerals.” and she smiles “Don’t get me started on that, I bet I would laugh at my own if I could.” “Yeah, I bet you would get out of the grave, all ghost like singin I aint got no booooooooody” and she laughs again, and Wade’s on a roll now, so he isn’t gonna stop “And I’m bettin you would look **dead** gorgeous, all like **boo** -tiful, you would probly be wearin **boo** -ts.” she is laughing for real now, punching his shoulder “Those are the worst jokes I ever heard!” Wade smiles and keeps on “I know right!? And I would probly like have to bring some tequila to your grave to ya know lift your **spirits**.” at that she laughs even harder “Oh my god! Right in the eye! That was my poison of choice!” and Wade suddenly doesn’t want to make bad ghost jokes anymore “You mean when you…” he whispers, trying to catch her look, and she looks at him still chuckling “Yeah, I took every damn pill I could find, and had a dance with Jose” He could kick himself “Sorry!” he whispers, and she shakes her head “Don’t be, gonna have a go at it again as soon as I get out of this god forsaken place.”

Suddenly she looks like she had the brightest idea come to her all of the sudden “How much?” and Wade’s lost “How much what?” “For a hit? How much?” and surely she isn’t suggesting what he thinks she is “Depends...” he stalls “On what?” “How difficult the job is, who’s the hit, stuff like that.” he answers, and she nods “How about 60.000?” He shakes his head “Who’s the hit?” and he doesn’t want to hear the answer “Me of course, since I failed at it myself I wanna make sure this time, I got that much saved up, don’t think I’m gonna need the money on the other side.” she states, all business like “Not enough.” he shakes his head crossing his arms on his chest and leaning away “But I’m an easy hit, c’mon.” she whines “No can’t do.” he answers, “Ok, I have my family house, I can sell it easy, can probly get around 80.000, so how bout 140.000?” Wade pretends like he’s thinking about it, knowing what his answer will be already “That means I have to get you out of here, and you have to go sell the house, it’s all complications.” She nods “Ok, how about this, you get me out of here, I give you the 60 thousand, we get my car, go to my old place, I sell it, and you can keep the car, it’s a sweet ride, was my fathers, you can probably get at least 20 more for it.” he looks at her “Hell, you gonna tell me you can sell your private jet next?” she smiles and shakes her head “I got it all after my old man died, his savings, his car, his house, didn’t want to have nothing with the bastard after he died, so i didn’t take any of it.” “So why now?” Wade asks “Thinkin it’s about time my old man does something nice for me after all, and I have no one else, so at least the money isn’t wasted.” She shrugs, and he just looks at her “I don’t wanna do it Dee.” he says, and she takes his hand in hers and looks him in the eye, pleading “Please. I’m gonna do it anyway, at least help me do it right” it’s all she says, and he finds himself nodding, closing his eyes, he knows how it is, to want death so bad, he can’t deny her that, or is it her persuasive super powers at work as Whitey suggested, he's not sure anymore “Day after tomorrow, after lunch, be ready.” now she’s thanking him, and he doesn’t want to hear it, but he has something of a plan forming in the back of his mind “Where’s the house?” he asks getting up “Lawrence, Kansas” she answers “We’re going on a road trip baby, start packin’” with that he goes away.

{We’re gonna kill her? I thought we liked her!} Yellow whines

[He thinks he can save her.]

“I will save her.” he says to himself before rolling to his side and shutting his eyes willing himself to go to sleep.

 

 


	7. Dancing with myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know this isn't what you all came here for, but wait till the next chapter for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what I'm doing, this is so stupid, I don't even know. Pfft gonna write it till the end though. Don't know if I should keep the lady alive, I found out I actually like to kill off major characters, go figure.  
> I don't think she's a Mary Sue, I did the test, so at least I got that going for me which is nice.  
> My phobias are actually deep water, fake hair and writing a Mary Sue.

{Yellow}

[Whitey]       

They arrived to Lawrence somewhere at noon, and Dee took off to the real-estate agency to start with the paperwork getting done, leaving Wade in their shared motel room to do nothing, which he was achieving gloriously. First he had brought their bags inside and sat them down by their respective beds. Then he paced the room for a couple of minutes and looked at the small clock atop the night table, it's been only fifteen minutes and he was already getting bored out of his mind. He plopped down on his bed half lying with his feet still on the floor and raised his hands behind his head. Absentmindedly he turned his head and sniffed

"Oh my god I smell!"

{That's why the pretty lady don't like us!}

[Oh yeah I'm sure that's the reason, and not the fact that she's been forced to stare at our ugly mug for two days.]

{Well maybe if we smelled nicer she'd not notice the face.}

[There's not enough body spray in the world to make us smell that nice]

{She doesn't seem to mind our looks anyway}

Wade got up, and went to the bathroom "'S cause she needs me to off her." He grumbled, taking his clothes off and getting into the shower.

{Maybe it's cause she has no problem with her own body. She stripped to her undies like three times in front of us already, and she sure ain't no model}

[She is compared to us.]

"She's not ugly though"

{I think she's pretty, specially in those blue laced undies she had on this morning.}

"Too bad she already had the shirt on, wonder if she wore a matching bra..." Wade mussed, letting the water stream down his body. He found himself wishing he could find out, imagining those breast barely contained in a sheer blue laced bra. He wasn't gonna go there, fuck, in a couple of days she will be dead, and by his own hand, he didn't want to be lusting after a dead girl it felt wrong. His dick was having other ideas so he switched the water to cold, and after he felt sufficiently clean and cooled off he went out of the shower.

He didn't want to put his dirty clothes back on, so he wrapped himself in a surprisingly clean and fluffy bathrobe hanging at the bathroom door, plled his boots on leaving them untied and went to the room. Deciding to just put his boxers on he laid down on the bed and turned the TV on.

{What if she walks in on us naked!}

"I'm not naked, she's been more naked, like, five times already, and she knows I'm fugly. Now the real question is, does this bed have magic fingers?"

It turned out it did have magic fingers, so Wade just sprawled himself on the bed and relaxed.

Soon he was laying, feet on the ground, legs splayed apart humming with the vibrations a blissed out smile on his face. He was so into enjoying himself, he almost didn't hear her come in. He raised his head from the pillow to the sound of the door clicking shut. She was looking at him, her mouth slightly open, and, was she blushing? He suddenly felt really self aware, so he propped himself up, closing his legs and wrapping the bathrobe around himself, which was a tuff task considering how buff he was.

"Sorry I just... I was stiff from the drive..."

She chuckled at that, and he narrowed his eyes at her "My back was stiff, get your mind out of the gutter woman!"

"You're the one to talk!" She answered, pulling her shoes off and proceedings to lay down beside him.

"What are you doing, you have your own bed!"

By then she was already sprawled and smiling. He heard her voice behind his back sounding funny because of the vibrations.

"Exhausted.Want magic fingers, limited amount of quarters."

He laughed and laid back down placing his hands on his stomach.

"So how did the meeting go?"

"They already have a buyer, it's gonna take about three days to get the paperwork done, and we're gonna get 85.000 in cash, so we're golden!"

"Good, so what we gonna do for three days?" Wade asked absentmindedly

"I don't know. You don't have to hang out with me, just ya know come back to get the job done." She shrugged her shoulders melting more into the vibrating mattress

"I ain't leaving you now, haven't seen all the underwear you brought for this road trip."

That got him a laugh and a punch to the shoulder.

They   stayed like that for four rounds, not talking, moving only to feed the machine another quarter, and when they were all out, she got up, took some clothes from her bag, and went to the bathroom.

She eyed him up and down still sprawled on the bead, his bathrobe open, and his scared skin on display, but damn he was ripped.

"You look good." she said, and managed to close the door just before the pillow he threw, hit her head.

***

They spent the entire day lazing around, drinking beer and eating fast food Dee brought from the diner just down the street, he felt so relaxed around her he didn't even bother to dress up staying in his boxers and bathrobe the entire day. Wade made her promise to take him to the family house tomorrow and in return he would take her out to get shitfaced.

"Okay since you're staying around just for my undies collection I can't disappoint." She said, getting up and starting to change for sleep.

He sure wasn't disappointed. She was wearing a sheer pale pink lace trimmed panties and a matching bra.

"You like?" She asked jokingly.

"Fuck, are all your bras that small?" He asked, suddenly glad he covered himself with a blanket, because she would be able to see just how much he liked it if he didn't do so.

"Fuck you! I'm a busty lady." She answered turning her back to him and unhooking the bra, just to slip a tee she was sleeping in on, and too fast for Wades liking.

"I ain't complainin sugar tits." He said, and she chuckled settling down to sleep.

"You know if I didn't look how I look, I would believe you."

"Hey, you said I look good, and I look the way I look, so why can't I say it 'bout you?" He asked

"Mmmm but you do look good. All tall, big muscles and danger. I ain't lyin." She answered, and then covered her face with her hands, he caught her blush just before she did it "Shit, just, fuck, forget I said anything, can we just go to sleep?"

Wade shook his head smiling, and turned the lights off "Good night Dee." She just mumbled and covered her head with her pillow.

{She likes us?}

[She can't be...]

{She blushed when she said it. I bet she thinks we're hot!}

[You're delusional.]

{Always.}

***

Wade couldn't sleep, so he watched her sleep. Every few seconds the big blue neon sign in front of their motel light up, pouring blue light into their room, and he could see her. She was lying on her back, her right arm flung above her head and her left somewhere below the covers.

She opened her eyes and he quickly squinted, so it would look like he was asleep, didn't want her to find out he was perving on her while she was sleeping. He saw her turn her head to look at him for a moment, and then she laid her head back down on her pillow, and licked her lips closing her eyes again. Next time the room shone blue, he caught a small movement below her sheets, and heard a small intake of breath, then the room went black again.

'She can't be..' He thought for a moment, before he heard a small sigh, and when the light filled the room again, he saw the rhythmic movement below her sheets again.

'Oh my god she is.. ' he felt hot, and kinda wrong for looking at her.

'She thinks I'm asleep, fuck, just close your eyes and give her some privacy you perv.' He almost listened to himself, but then he saw her opening her mouth and bending her head back furrowing her brow, and he couldn't bring himself to stop looking.

Next time the room was bathed in blue light, he saw her trembling, small delicate movements he would probably miss if he wasn't so attuned to what she was doing, and he himself was getting painfully hard. She was biting down on her lower lip now, and then she opened her eyes and looked around the room, stopping her movements altogether.

'Fuck! Did she see me looking?' A small wave of panic shot through him, surprisingly the thought of getting caught watching just added to his arousal. For those few moments the room went dark again he struggled to make his breathing even, but when the light was back he saw her scrunching her face and her hips rose a little for a moment. She soundlessly mouthed some world he couldn't decipher and then she just laid there for a moment, eyes closed and mouth open, he could see her breathing faster but she was silent, and then next time the light was back he saw her raise her right hand to her face and look at her fingers, she brought one to her lips and licked at is, and he almost creamed his pants at the sight. She made a face and turned in the bed, her back to him, fumbling for a moment before settling down.

'Fuck... Should have jacked off in the shower.' Wade through to himself, shifting in his bed, he was never gonna fall asleep now, not with the sight of what he just saw playing on repeat in his mind, and his cock hard as fuck. He had to at least wait for her to fall asleep before sneaking into the bathroom to get rid of his problem.


	8. Pink it's my new obsession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pwp. Poorly written, short, deprived, filthy pwp. Will go back to the plot in the next chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I REGRET NOTHING!!! *flails off to an unknown direction*

[Whitey]

{Yellow}

'inner monologue'

Wade woke up to the sound of the shower running. For a moment he couldn't remember where he was. Then the shower turned off, and after a few minutes she came out. She was wearing a different set of lingerie, red with black lace. This set was actually really, really hot. He remembered watching her last night and then he probably fell asleep before he got to take care of business. Now he had fucking morning wood and it was starting to get painful. He was staring at her.

  
"So I guess you like this set huh?" She smiled going to her bed and starting to get dressed.

  
"Hell. I'm not even sure who's tryin to kill who right now sweet cheeks." He grunted, half aware of what he was saying.

  
"Aww you're really sweet, making a girl feel good about herself." She chuckled.

  
{She thinks you're joking.}

  
' Hell if I am, I'm telling you if I could die, I'd probly be up singing with the angels, wishing I got a piece of that fine ass before it was lights out. Right now I'm pretty sure my dick is gonna shoot off like a fucking rocket.'

  
"You do realize you're saying that aloud?" She asked, fully dressed now.

  
"Fuck, sorry I just woke up, no brain to mouth filter." He smiled.

  
[As if we ever had any to begin with]

  
"Yeah sure whatever. Listen, I'm gonna go arrange for us to go see the house. And I'll get us some chow on the way back. Shouldn't be more than an hour. Kay?" She said going to the door, he nodded and then she was gone.

  
He got up and started walking to the bathroom, so he could wash up and finally get himself to get off, when something caught his eye. Her bag was unzipped, and he could see a flash of pink inside it. Without even thinking he pulled it out. It was the panties she wore last night, the one she wore when she...

  
[We are the filthiest perv in all existence]

'I didn't even know I was into this. No judgment Whitey I keep an open mind!'

[Well you learn something new everyday]

{Are we gonna start buying used undies on like Craigslist now?}

'Fuck me if I know. I don't know how I'm gonna explain these if she notices '

  
He knew he shouldn't be doing this, but he couldn't help himself. He rubbed the fabric between his fingers and it felt so soft. Then he brought it up to his face and sniffed. Fuck he could still smell her, the scent went straight to his groin, making him moan and grab himself through his boxers. He played with himself for a moment through his underwear playing last night's scenario in his mind, imagining it was him who got her off, and then he got an idea. He took his boxers off, and then, before giving himself time to talk himself out of it, he pulled her panties on. They were tight around his thighs riding up his ass, and his swollen cock was only half covered with the sheer fabric, but it felt so good. He started rubbing himself, and the shift between touching the clothed and unclothed part of his cock made him shudder with arousal. He braced himself on the small wooden shelf by the door, and kept stroking, faster and faster. Then he looked up  and in a small mirror atop the shelf he could see himself, his cock swollen and leaking, trapped in that tight piece of fabric she had worn just hours ago when she was touching herself. Her scent was on it and now his was too. She came wearing those panties and now he was gonna...

  
"Fuck." He growled and then grunted, spilling all over his hand and the sheer pink fabric soaking the panties with his cum.

  
After a few moments he opened his eyes and looked down. The panties were completely ruined, but he couldn't care less. He took them off and got most of his come off with a tissue paper, scrunching them up in a ball, and pushing them inside the side pocket of his bag, not before sniffing on them once more. Their combined smell getting him hard again.

  
"Time for round two I guess." He shrugged and went to the shower, promising himself he would find a way to talk her out of all this assisted suicide arrangement, and into his bed, because it felt wrong to love a dead girl after all.

  
[Love huh?]  
'I said lust.'  
{Nope}  
'Shut up and concentrate on picturing those tits'  
[Boobs]  
{Tittie tittie tittie}

**Author's Note:**

> Non native english speaker, sorry for my bad english. Also I try to do my homework before writing stuff, but I'll probably get some things wrong.


End file.
